We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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