don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She bit a glass in half.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
