I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
