I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
