No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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