Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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