brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
