just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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