PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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