New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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