i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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