Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
