it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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