Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
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I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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