I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
