Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize