He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
