she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
