That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
