He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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