I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
