what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
