Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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