I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
