I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
