You're so nebulous sometimes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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