"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize