Whod you bang
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
