She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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