Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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