THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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