...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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