apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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