um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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