I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
