So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
