wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize