I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
