i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
