new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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