In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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