Cold hands, warm shart.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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