he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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