If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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