living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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