got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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