come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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