It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
