I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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