pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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