feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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