So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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