My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
