i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
