I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize