she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize