Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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