Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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