yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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