wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let's get the cat blown out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
jump out the window naked night went bad
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
