talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
